WHEN IS CASUAL NOT CASUAL????
Ive been seeing someone on a casual basis for a few weeks now, but we had an argument this week as we both have very different ideas as to what casual means.
I should start off by explaining that other than in the bedroom, this "relationship" takes place mainly via text message and dirty pictures (although come to think of it, its only ever me sending the pictures lol)
Well, who knew that text messages could be interpreted in so many different ways. My interpretation of the message I sent was basically if you aren't really interested please let me know. Its been ages since we've actually had any sex, I thought that I really ought to check that he was interested and I wasn't wasted my valuable mobile phone credit in texting him all the time.
He interpreted it as me having a cop because he was busy. NO, that wasn't what I meant, I replied. I meant that you seem to be busy rather alot, and I was just wondering if you did actually want to have sex with me at some point or if you are just making excuses because you'd rather shag a donkey than come back to me again. ( I did have a very horrendous childbirth, involving lots of internal stitches, that still makes me wince when I think about it, so I wouldn't actually blame him)
This was then followed by a " you said casual as in every now and then". Actually, I think you will find that when I said casual, I was thinking that at some point we might actually have short conversation on the way to the bedroom (my idea of foreplay), before he completely ravished me and gave me enough orgasms to last until I saw him again in about a months time.
It appears that I must either have a high sex drive or be wanting a proper relationship, because apparently meeting once a month is a bit too often to be "casual". mmm let me think that one over... Nope, I still don't get it.
Surely once a month is not too often. If I was in a relationship, I hope I'd be getting it a hell of a lot more often than once a month, and if I wasn't I would definitely be asking a few probing questions.
So if anyone does actually know the answer to when is casual too casual and when is it a relationship, could they please let me know, because frankly I really cant afford to keep topping up my phone if I'm not gonna get a smile on my face at the end of it. xxx
As a single mum myself,I understand where you are coming from. It sounds as though CASUAL to him means CASUAL SEX not a CASUAL RELATIONSHIP. We all have different definitions and if you want something you have to be clear what you want and say it in terms you both understand.
ReplyDeleteI started a relationship (somewhat reluctantly as I am an emotional wreck at the moment due to PTSD) with a former work colleague whom I had liked for ages but didnt want to ask out as we worked together. We got on really well at work, and he continued to keep in touch when I left. He suggested I needed some adult company and he was offering me that. We both agreed "kisses and cuddles" could be nice, and we started to meet up at his place. From the first, "kisses and cuddles" clearly meant as much sex as you can cram into an afternoon (as we both have kids and gaurd our privacy). After a long spell as a single mum it was like water in the desert lol. However, we met a few times more and it went the same way each time. We meet up once a week for sex in the afternoon. We texted or spoke on phone and chatted online in between times WHEN IT SUITED HIM. Thats wher it started to go wrong. There was a whole list on WHAT NOT TO DO. Like dont phone/text when he s in pub or with daughter. etc etc.So it seemed to be all on his terms. That didnt work for me. My previous boyfriend was a two timer lol. He never mentionned casual but obviously thats what he wanted. Now I do have mood swings and he knew that anyway due to PTSD. He knew I was vulnerable and not sure if I wanted to be in a relationship but he assured me he was cool with that. However at the first sign of me making any demands on his time he says " I cant handle your moods!" So it seems we may speak a different language,use a different dictionary or maybe even a different notepad. I ran away as fast as I could.I suggest you do likewise lol.